Subconscious Competition

Subconscious Competition

He steps out a clawfoot tub
(the one I practiced drowning
him in for three months)

five years of water
dripping 
he greets my mother naked
and requests
my hand in marriage

then you appear
a Casperous apparition
chasing me through
courtyards and cobbled streets
telling me the choice is mine

I stop running
stare at you both
and walk away

What does it mean
when I dream you
in competition with my past?

Do you win?