I stare numb at the wall
pale apricot
lingering behind his back
He's six feet of jelly
yet confident as our first day
he darts his tongue
into mine
his mouth, a cave
moist and hot like a
Brazilian jungle
new tongues
slippery and thick as
eel leather
Another re-post. This poem is about my first official kiss with my twelve-year-old boyfriend.
The being 12 is fucking me up..
ReplyDeleteShould I change the voice of the speaker to a 12 year old rather than an adult looking back?
ReplyDeleteVizionheiry, I love the voice you wrote this piece in. I don't think you should change it. The slightly risque quality is what makes it interesting. I did have a thought that maybe you could write this in two parts, recalling the moment as an adult and also telling of the moment as a young girl in the present tense.
ReplyDeleteHi S.,
ReplyDeleteI started writing it in two voices, then in revision I merged them. Your comment lets me know I should return to that structure. Thank you!