Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Antonio in the Kitchen

I stare numb at the wall
pale apricot
lingering behind his back
He's six feet of jelly
yet confident as our first day
he darts his tongue
into mine
his mouth, a cave
moist and hot like a
Brazilian jungle
new tongues
slippery and thick as
eel leather

Another re-post. This poem is about my first official kiss with my twelve-year-old boyfriend.


  1. The being 12 is fucking me up..

  2. Should I change the voice of the speaker to a 12 year old rather than an adult looking back?

  3. Vizionheiry, I love the voice you wrote this piece in. I don't think you should change it. The slightly risque quality is what makes it interesting. I did have a thought that maybe you could write this in two parts, recalling the moment as an adult and also telling of the moment as a young girl in the present tense.

  4. Hi S.,

    I started writing it in two voices, then in revision I merged them. Your comment lets me know I should return to that structure. Thank you!


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